LOS ANGELES – In what multiple sources are describing as “the most aggressive shadow-boxing session since Rocky Balboa trained for the Cold War,” Sean “Diddy” Combs...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Darling, clear your calendars and lock your emotional support safes, because the Democratic National Committee just dropped the most audacious rebrand since “global...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what multiple high-level sources are describing as “the most 2025 story of 2025,” conservative commentator and noted moon-theology skeptic Candace Owens was...
Darlings, hold onto your heirloom ladles and uncork the rosé, because the canned cuisine empire just uncapped a scandal so steamy, it could reheat a forgotten...
WASHINGTON—In what sources close to the situation are calling “the most unnecessary use of grant money since the Federal Tequila-Proof Congress Desk Initiative,” researchers at the...
MANHATTAN – In an exclusive investigation that began with a suspicious receipt folded into a $52 kale smoothie, The Critical Chronicle can confirm that First National...
LAUSANNE – Darling, cancel the floating brunch. The International Olympic Committee just detonated the chicest bomb in sports history, unveiling a 3,100-page doctrine that reads like...
MUSKOGEE—At 9:47 a.m. Central Standard Time, board-certified sonographer Dr. Marisol Peña pressed a transducer against the abdomen of 29-year-old Hailey Broderick and delivered what historians are...
MENLO PARK, Calif. – A four-month Critical Chronicle probe, involving three burner phones, one borrowed GoPro, and a Costco rotisserie chicken used as bait, has confirmed...
Washington, 3:17 a.m.—the velvet hour when democracy drops the beat. Darlings, gather your sequined notebooks and cruelty-free lattes, because Capitol Hill just served a five-course gag...
