MUSKOGEE—At 9:47 a.m. Central Standard Time, board-certified sonographer Dr. Marisol Peña pressed a transducer against the abdomen of 29-year-old Hailey Broderick and delivered what historians are...
RICHMOND—In what scholars are already terming the “Meow-pocalypse Tapes,” a 47-minute audio file surfaced Tuesday from the office of Dr. Marla Feldman, Ph.D., LCSW, and certified...
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a maneuver that scholars are already hailing as “the most literal filibuster in American history,” Senate Democrats yesterday welded shut every exterior door of...
NEW YORK — In what scholars of political anthropology are calling the most audacious exercise in retroactive kinship since the Habsburgs discovered a spare archduke in...
CHICAGO — In a bold reimagining of urban sociology, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker has declared Chicago’s escalating murder rate a “misunderstood expression of communal affection,” urging...
Arlington, VA – In a seismic disruption that has sent shockwaves through the digital cosmos, Amazon Web Services (AWS) suffered a catastrophic outage yesterday, plunging vast...
In a development that has left political analysts recalibrating their predictive models, former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced his conversion to Islam at a 2:17...
SACRAMENTO, CA—In a press conference that historians may one day liken to the Bay of Pigs for its sheer diplomatic disarray, California Governor Gavin Newsom confessed...
In a development that has left Democratic strategists reeling, recently leaked Republican group chats have revealed an alarming absence of pedophilia-related content, prompting a wave of...
In a development that scholars of political irony may cite for generations, the self-anointed Ceasefire Crusaders—a coalition of megaphone-wielding, hashtag-happy activists—have publicly disavowed the freshly inked...
