DNC Files Lawsuit: Redistricting Without Illegals Violates Their Right to Win Elections
Hillary’s Email Server Declares Candidacy for 2028: ‘I’ve Got More Secrets Than She Does!’
Harris’s Tell-All Hits Shelves: ‘I’m So Excited to Find Out What My Book Says!’
Trump Declares Gaza Starvation Real, Netanyahu Insists It’s Just a New Diet Trend Gone Wrong
Trump Sells EU a $750B Gas Bill, Calls It ‘Biggest Deal Since I Invented Money’
Tsunami Approaches, Oprah Tells Hawaiian Peasants: ‘You Get to Swim! You Get to Swim!’
Joey Swoll Says Sorry for Hulk Hogan Love, Promises to Consult Twitter Before Feeling Again
Local Man Insists Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Ad Turned His Dog Into a White Supremacist
Colbert’s End Sparks 20-Person Protest, Becomes Biggest Traffic Jam of One Car
E! News Moves to TikTok, Sole Viewer Asks: ‘Where’s the Remote for This App?’
Vegas Vacancy Crisis After Boomers Learn Vegas Runs on Solar, Not ‘Good Ol’ Coal’
Another Quarter of No Rate Change as Jerome Powell Says ‘Trump Is Still President’
Liberals Rejoice as Hollister Combats American Eagle with “Fat Retards Only” Jean Campaign
Startup’s ‘BusyBee’ Device Auto-Mutes Your Mic to Hide Sounds of You Vacuuming During Calls
Company’s ‘Work Hard, Play Hard’ Culture Ends in Nerf Gun War Crimes
Man’s Tesla FSD Swerves Into Cornfield, Builds Maze Shaped Like Elon’s Face
Tea Founders’ Workshop: ‘How to Build an App Hackers Love in Minutes’
Lyft Fires Back: New Feature Lets Women Pick Male Drivers Over 6’, Short Kings Start Petition
TikTok Users Mock Vine’s Comeback: ‘Who Has Time for a 6-Second Commitment?’
LinkedIn Introduces ‘Humblebrag 2.0’ Feature to Auto-Generate Cringe-Worthy Posts
Jerry Jones Offers Micah Parsons a New Contract: Two Free Hot Dogs and a Firm Handshake
McGregor Enters Testing Pool Again, Says It’s ‘Just to Keep My Urine Game Sharp’
Sharpe Shocked to Learn: Assault Is No Longer Labelled Being ‘Old School’
Hulk Hogan vs. André the Giant: Heavenly Smackdown to Air Tonight on GOD Network
Max Holloway’s BMF Belt Defense Includes Record-Breaking 47 Bleeped Words in Post-Fight Speech
In a breakthrough that has left quantum physicists and HR departments equally baffled, Ann Arbor resident Gerald P. Snodgrass, a 47-year-old assistant manager at Tardy Tacos,...
